Holy Crap!

wow school just started and i already have no time to go on the computer and update this blog. god that sucks :( my first day of new chinese school was today. it sucked.

you would not believe how down i was feeling today at chinese school because it's level 4 so of course it was harder cuz technically i sort of skipped a level. switching schools was hard because at my former school, i knew all the people in my class - we've been in the same class but with different teachers every year since kindergarten. but not that we're high schoolers, the chinese class actually counts as high school credit and so there's so many different levels. it's like level 2, 3, 4, and then AP. most of my former classmates were put into level 3 at my former school and i think i would have been too. but i switched to the school (the one i'm going to now) because i would be able to go directly to level 4 and then AP next year, meaning i would only have to do language for 2 years instead of 3. i could finish faster, which is better for me (:

but as the class started and stuff, i realized i was really alone because everybody already knew each other from the year before, and most of them could all speak and read and most likely write chinese better than i could. i felt kinda stupid and like i didn't belong in level 4. my mom was still there talking to the principal or something by the time it was break time and she saw me looking kinda sad and she was like "what's wrong?" and i started sniffling and crying a bit cuz i just felt so bad. she said that maybe i should look at the level 3 class then and see. so i like, peeked into the level 3 classroom and it was already so full of people, most of them all 8th graders. the teacher didn't look as i dunno... cool? lol. i liked my level 4 teacher better, so i just told my mom that i would stay in level 4. i'll just have to work harder to succeed.

i just kind of wish i had more friends in that class. there are people that i know, but we're not really close friends. plus, during break they all kinda group together and sort of ignore me. it's slightly sad, but i don't mind that much... it's just a bit lonely you know? being alone is one of my worst fears...