he grew up into one hell of a hunk... not that he wasnt one already (;
ღMosaic Of Broken Heartsღ
hai im emily. wait no scratch that. im juliet looking for my romeo and a new pair of converse (': i was in love, but that was yesterday. i want to live my life, not just survive. but, it's hard to grow up in a world where you never feel like you're good enough. silence can be a girl's loudest cry. i think that in the end, we're all a little bit fucked up sometimes. anyways, this is my blog where i post my true feelings and all that actual shit. here, im real. and there's no stopping me.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Lights
this picture reminds me of that song "Lights" by Ellie Goulding... or however you spell her name. LOL btw, i am seriously in love with Taylor Swift's acoustic version of "Haunted" it's so breathtakingly beautiful. i really love it when she does acoustic versions cuz it shows off how good her voice really is. oh yeah. and uhm, i totally tripped on the stairs at my school yesterday. my shin has like a slight bruise and some skin peeled off. it's kinda creepy that my skin peeled a bit, but my jeans didn't even rip hahaha.
Umph
summer needs to get here already im so tired of school and homework and projects and sleeping late i just wanna fucking relax a little and have the chance to have some fun. i wanna go out in the sun and get tan and exercise so i can get skinnier legs/thighs and work out so i have more muscle than flab on my arms and stomach area. come here summer omfg
Monday, May 27, 2013
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Woahz
dude omg this is so cool .-. i wish i could own everything in this pic i wish i had a great body too so then i could actually look good if i owned everything in the pic LOL
Updates
sorry i haven't updated in a while. but, to be honest, there's really nothing to update y'all with. my life has been pretty much the same as before. i'm really busy, as expected, since the end of the school year is coming up and there's finals to study for and lots of projects to do.
michel and i are basically nonexistent now. but i'm fine with that. i don't know if he is. but, yeah. i don't know how it happened but just like, one day my feelings for him just disappeared. maybe i've felt like that a long time and just never came to terms with it. i dunno :P
michel and i are basically nonexistent now. but i'm fine with that. i don't know if he is. but, yeah. i don't know how it happened but just like, one day my feelings for him just disappeared. maybe i've felt like that a long time and just never came to terms with it. i dunno :P
one day that's what i'll be |
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Part of an Email I Wrote to my BFF
i love how my bff is always there for me (: she's always there for me, even when my other friends arent. even though we dont get to hang out as often as we used to, we're still the same old people we were back in 4th grade when we first became best friends. the only thing is that now, we're more than just "best friends forever." we're soul sisters. anyways... onto the excerpt. she was helping me deal with michel :P so i had to tell her the situation first. i thought you might like to see my explanation. so uhm. yeah. here goes.
idk about me and michel :c i was just thinking about me and him and then i realized how much he really annoys me sometimes. i feel like if 2 people like each other, they should also respect each other right? well i keep getting this feeling that michel doesn't really respect me and my boundaries. i can never really talk to him about this because every time i get serious, he says, "are you on your period? omg you're like bipolar right now. so many mood swings." and i'm just like "...seriously, dude? i'm trying to talk to you about something serious here!" but i just can't talk to him about this kind of stuff because michel is so immature and childish! he doesn't really have any manners; he said it himself! i always say "dude, you have no manners at all" and he just replies saying "LOL i only have manners around adults. around adults, i'm a f*cking gentleman." and i just think that's so stupid. everybody should have manners. for example, i don't mind if people drink some water from my water bottle cuz they take the cap part off and drink from the bottle and they always ask first. but michel doesn't even ask me! he just steals it from my backpack and drinks it directly from the straw part!!! and it's so gross because my water bottle's kinda weird & there's a trick to drinking it from the straw part and michel doesn't know how to so he leaves a whole bunch of spit on the straw and i'm just like "...how can i drink from my water bottle now?!" every time he does that, i always have to go wash my water bottle really thoroughly. i feel like i need to disinfect it. he's so rude; sometimes i just can't believe that he did that. another thing: he doesn't even know how to treat a girl right. this kinda ties back to the whole not respecting my boundaries and stuff. also, he has the worst sense of humor. all the jokes he makes are so mean and they shouldn't even be considered jokes. some of his jokes are really racist and other jokes are puns about the boston bombing like "come to boston, we're having a BLAST!" it's so mean to make a joke out of such a tragic event, but he freaking thinks it's funny! it's not funny. looking back, i realize how different we really are. we like completely different things. if we hadn't liked each other in the first place, we wouldn't have even been friends at all.
i really regret spending so much of my time liking him. it wasn't worth it. HE wasn't worth it. am i being to mean about this? am i being pissy by complaining about him so much? idk. i'm sorry, michel. we just weren't meant to be. i would say "it's not you, it's me" but it IS you. it's all your fault and you don't even know it.
idk about me and michel :c i was just thinking about me and him and then i realized how much he really annoys me sometimes. i feel like if 2 people like each other, they should also respect each other right? well i keep getting this feeling that michel doesn't really respect me and my boundaries. i can never really talk to him about this because every time i get serious, he says, "are you on your period? omg you're like bipolar right now. so many mood swings." and i'm just like "...seriously, dude? i'm trying to talk to you about something serious here!" but i just can't talk to him about this kind of stuff because michel is so immature and childish! he doesn't really have any manners; he said it himself! i always say "dude, you have no manners at all" and he just replies saying "LOL i only have manners around adults. around adults, i'm a f*cking gentleman." and i just think that's so stupid. everybody should have manners. for example, i don't mind if people drink some water from my water bottle cuz they take the cap part off and drink from the bottle and they always ask first. but michel doesn't even ask me! he just steals it from my backpack and drinks it directly from the straw part!!! and it's so gross because my water bottle's kinda weird & there's a trick to drinking it from the straw part and michel doesn't know how to so he leaves a whole bunch of spit on the straw and i'm just like "...how can i drink from my water bottle now?!" every time he does that, i always have to go wash my water bottle really thoroughly. i feel like i need to disinfect it. he's so rude; sometimes i just can't believe that he did that. another thing: he doesn't even know how to treat a girl right. this kinda ties back to the whole not respecting my boundaries and stuff. also, he has the worst sense of humor. all the jokes he makes are so mean and they shouldn't even be considered jokes. some of his jokes are really racist and other jokes are puns about the boston bombing like "come to boston, we're having a BLAST!" it's so mean to make a joke out of such a tragic event, but he freaking thinks it's funny! it's not funny. looking back, i realize how different we really are. we like completely different things. if we hadn't liked each other in the first place, we wouldn't have even been friends at all.
i really regret spending so much of my time liking him. it wasn't worth it. HE wasn't worth it. am i being to mean about this? am i being pissy by complaining about him so much? idk. i'm sorry, michel. we just weren't meant to be. i would say "it's not you, it's me" but it IS you. it's all your fault and you don't even know it.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Oh How I Wish
i wish this could happen to me with one of those guys at school that everybody likes and is the greatest guy ever and has real manners and can be a gentleman.
Monday, May 13, 2013
OOH, Yummy
on a happier note, i thought i'd blog something happy since my last post was something really sad.
LOOK AT ALL THE CHOCOLATE <3
I Feel Bad
i feel so sorry for my friend who went to sadies with me. she asked her guy the same day i asked... him. but after the dance, she kept getting confused as to whether or not he actually likes her back because he's so nice to everybody. he treats everybody the same, almost. nobody's particularly special to him i guess. so she asked our friend, who's a really close friend of the guy she likes, to ask the guy she likes if he likes her back. she finally found out today. and well, uh, he doesn't like her back in that way.
she was so sad. she was crying and stuff. i feel so bad for her. i didn't really know how to comfort her, but i tried my best. she's slowing getting over it. but her heart is still kinda broken. it's on the mend; it's just still slightly broken. poor girl was rejected without the guy even knowing that she knows. depressing, right?
she was so sad. she was crying and stuff. i feel so bad for her. i didn't really know how to comfort her, but i tried my best. she's slowing getting over it. but her heart is still kinda broken. it's on the mend; it's just still slightly broken. poor girl was rejected without the guy even knowing that she knows. depressing, right?
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Here's To Never Growing Up
this is my new jam <3 it's been 3 years since avril lavigne's had new music and i just love her new single so much (: it's really good and the video brings back so many memories... hahaha i missed her old look - the skater punk girl :D it was a sight for sore eyes :P http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXd2WxoOP5g
I Should
i should do this right in front of michel... burn a piece of paper saying "together forever." is that a little bit too harsh? lol idk. i've just always wanted to do something like that. i've taken down any reminders i have of michel from the walls in my room. like, all the stuff we did at sadies? taken down, folded up, and put away. i've been avoiding him pretty well these past few days. i feel really bad about it, but i don't know what else to do or how to handle these kind of situations. you know... where one person stops trying and the whole "relationship" just kinda fades away...
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
YES
i got an A+ on my math quiz (: finally! i'm improving. i was really happy today :D
is it possible to fall out of love/like? cuz i think that's what i just did with michel. idk there's some things that he's been doing these past few weeks that are really pissing me off. i was talking with my friend about him yesterday and she agreed with me. he's immature and childish and i feel like he's not like a gentleman at all. he really has no manners and i've always thought if 2 people liked each other, they should also respect each other. but i feel like he doesnt respect me at all! he doesnt really care about my personal boundaries and every time i try to be serious with him, he plays it off as if i'm on my period or something because for some fucking reason i'm not allowed to be serious. like what the fuck? how did i ever like him in the first place? what was going on in my mind? i dont even know what to do anymore. i cant just stop doing what i usually do with him (hug him before leaving to a class, etc.) otherwise he'll think it's weird and he'll know something's up. i dont know what im doing anymore. do i just try and slowly drift away from him? do i just try to ignore him? i dont know what to do. i dont feel any spark or whatever anymore for him.
fist pump! yessss |
is it possible to fall out of love/like? cuz i think that's what i just did with michel. idk there's some things that he's been doing these past few weeks that are really pissing me off. i was talking with my friend about him yesterday and she agreed with me. he's immature and childish and i feel like he's not like a gentleman at all. he really has no manners and i've always thought if 2 people liked each other, they should also respect each other. but i feel like he doesnt respect me at all! he doesnt really care about my personal boundaries and every time i try to be serious with him, he plays it off as if i'm on my period or something because for some fucking reason i'm not allowed to be serious. like what the fuck? how did i ever like him in the first place? what was going on in my mind? i dont even know what to do anymore. i cant just stop doing what i usually do with him (hug him before leaving to a class, etc.) otherwise he'll think it's weird and he'll know something's up. i dont know what im doing anymore. do i just try and slowly drift away from him? do i just try to ignore him? i dont know what to do. i dont feel any spark or whatever anymore for him.
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